Pecah Perasaan (000010 - 000012)

000010

Samada kau sayang aku atau tidak

Samada kau ikhlas dengan aku atau tidak

Samada kau jujur dengan aku atau tidak

Aku tidak tahu

Tapi apa yang buat aku percaya semua itu

Apabila kau buktikan melalui tindakan

Ya

Aku tidak mampu lakukan apa yang aku minta kau lakukan

Aku tahu

Ajarlah aku

Bagaimana untuk menzahirkan semua itu melalui perbuatan

Bagaimana untuk menzahirkan semua itu melalui kata-kata

Agar aku juga merasakan yang sama

Agar kita sama-sama merasakannya

Agar kita mampu bahagia bersama

000011

Jangan datang lagi

Jangan datang dan merayu aku lagi

Jangan berharap lagi

Tolonglah!

Pergilah

Carilah kehidupanmu yang kau inginkan

Tanpa aku

Aku mohon

Aku merayu

000012

Harus kau tahu

Aku sudah tawar hati

Aku sudah mati hati

Semua tentang kita sudah tawar bagi aku

Bukan kerana orang lain

Tapi kerana kita berdua

Nobody Realize About My Existence

Haiii assalamualaikum… hahah.. lama x post kan..bz bha .. aii .. kununn .. hmm .. teda masa mau urus ne blog bbrapa weeks ne .. sbb ada blog baru yg kena urus .. hihi ..

Hmm .. for this time being .. ada la jg bbrapa update yg x smpat mau bgtau .. life routine changes a bit .. not so gradually but change juga la .. frequency ke library mbuat kerja dan research tu bertambah .. so .. emm .. yaa .. ak slalu la sda ke library .. slalu bertapa d ctu utk buat keja .. sbb my schedule for this semester x brapa pack except for Thursday so I think its better if that kekosongan and ke-free-an itu ak isi utk bertapa d dlm library dan buat research utk assignment dan kerja2 lain yg lebih patut .. hmm .. agak rajin jg la .. alhamdulillah .. hokhik..

Oke .. that was first .. enough la .. and lets go to the second one and the byk2 one .. well u know .. crita common laa .. bashing people here and there with my bestie .. haa my bestie skrg change a lot ! now she’s like more aggressive laa .. bila dea x ska dea akan straight forward says that dea x ska .. dea x mcm yg tym sem 1 ak kenal who is more diam and diam and diam .. she’s no longer that girl yg kau blh pijak sesuka hati .. she’s changed since last sem .. all thanks to that incident la yg buatkn dea semakin tegak berdiri .. hahah .. I like her whether she’s cool mcm tym part one or dea yg skrg .. ak x ksah ..

Ak mau crita satu la .. since ak dgn bestie slalu bdua ja dan bgerak ke mana mmg akn bsama specially when it comes about class ..and ak x brapa mau bgaul sgt pun dgn siapa2 sbb “less friend less stress and less shit” so yeah .. and that is fuckin TRUE man !! less shit .. but still annoyed dgn org sekeliling yg lack of kesedaran .. hmm .. hairan la jg kann.. pandai2 smua tp bgtu .. hmm .. ntah la .. malas mau ckp .. mnyinggungkn hati then trus blh jadi emo .. hahah ..

Oke so here’s the thing .. since ak slalu bdua ja and kurang bgaul .. so this sem I found out that I am invisible.. whether ak dlm kelas or not.. people won’t even recognize me .. haha .. so true .. I like that fact but.. it’s kinda hurt juga la bla ari tu ada classmate ne tnya .. so dialog dea mcm ni ..

        Classmate : diba dah ambk BCM blm ?

        Me : dah .. dah ambk dah last sem .. in fact kte ambk smua subjek part 2 last sem .. sma2 ngan               korg..skali kan dgn yg repeat tu .. ambk smua skali .. tp kena ambk OC lg skali laaa~ L

        Classmate : oh yee .. dah ambik OC ?

        Me : kena ambk lg skaliii

        Classmate : oh ye ?? klu nnti ambk OC ambk la dgn miss **** .. dea ajar ktorg last sem .. oke la                       dgn dia.. best ..

        Me  : haa.. tauu .. last sem kan kte satu kelas ..

        Classmate : oh yeke ? diba ade ek ?

        Me : hmm..ade laaa..

        Classmate : oooo … 

Faham tak apa yg ak nak sampai kan kat cni ??? nampak tak ?? and after that I said to my bestie “omg!!so slama ni dorg mmg x pnah sedar la yg aku slama ni satu kelas ngan korg??!!!mann!!!so ape la guna aku dok present psl reaction dkat lab BCM last sem kat dorg ??!!! dorg x nampak ehh???!!!omg!!seriously mannnnnn!!!” and my bestie was just like “ntah laa dorg tuu”

TO BE CONTINUED .. :')

My World Of Boredom ..

hurmm..sda 3 minggu cuti .. tp bru 2 mnggu lebih ak d cni..bosann bangettt..nsib ada tv..haha..aduy..tp tv pun laa...rncgnnya x best..kadang2 ja .. balik2 tgk crita indon..xlma jd org indon la jg .. huu..

aduy na rang .. xlma gla jg ak ne..duk d umah truss.. hurmm..for ur info, since ak pulang nee..x pnah sda ak kuar2..kcuali p jemur kain,ambk kain d jemuran and buang smpah d luar pagar rumah..nahh...coba d bayangin..

p jemur kain tu frequency nya just once,ambk kain d jemuran tuu frequency nya buat msa ini 4 kali..and..p buang sampah d luar tu cuma baru 2 kali..sbb biasanya kerja buang smpah tu atuk yg buat..sbb dea slalu kuar mw p kebun,jd skali laa...

alaa..lagipun, bukannya ak buat keja umah pun d umah ne..ada la ckit..cuci pinggan mangkuk, kemas bilik,lipat kain..pastu, yg laennya..atuk yg buat..mcm masak..kadang2 maksu la masak..iya laa..ak mna la pndi masak..

hah?? cuci kain??kemas rumah??

itu ada org yg buat..maksu byr sorg macik nee..dea dtg stiap ari slasa sma sabtu..jd..mcm biasa laa..kmi d umah ne kmpul baju2 kotor..pastu,pd ari slasa n sabtu..b'soraklah baju2 kotor ini kerana tu macik sda dtg mw p kc bersih dorg..hoho..

hurmmm...aktiviti ku spnjg cuti stakat ini...hurmm...apa yaa???

online = jarang skali..ne kali kedua..

tidur = yes!frequency nya sgt tnggi..tdur dr jam 12 /1/2 pagi..saaaaammmpppaaaaiiiiiii la jam 10 pagi..bgtu la kerjaku ari2..ini kerja tetap ne..

tv = huhay!ne lg 1..frequency nya pun tnggi jgk..sda bgun,mandi,trussss turun p tgk tu tv..crita indon..nahh..amek kw!haha..

mkn = ne frequency nyaa...rendah ckit laa..sbb skrg ne..ak mkn pun tym d suh mkn n tym ada mood ja mkn..ikutkn ati..xmw mkn..bukan apa..xda slera...ntah napa..lapar mmg la lapar..tp tekak xmw trima mknn..pnah ada ari tuu..ak mkn,ckit mw muntah..ntah laa..mmg btul2 xda slera..hurmmmm...

b'sms = ne pun frequency nya rendah yg agak rendah..lg rendah dr mkn..ntah laa..since cuti nee..eh..tp mmg laa..ak mmg jrg sms bhaa..kcuali la org sms ak,tym mw pulang twu,tym raya n ada ocassion t'tntu bru ak sms..bf pun jrg2 sda sms..huu..sunyi kn hidupku??hoho..pity me.. :(

men game = nahh..ne frequency nyaa mw hmpir2 ja dgn yg tgk tv tuu..sbb ambil ak tgk tv,ak men game..d laptop..huhu..mw habis sda ne koleksi game d laptop ku ne ak men..

apa lagi aktiviti ku??hurmmm.....ntah..tu ja laa..

tapi tapi tapii...ak ada satu kegemaran baru..memandangkan ak skrg ne sdg memegang jwtn bambong terhormat utk sebulan lebih..hehe..

skrg kn..ak ska tgk berita..alaa..berita yg jam 8 mlm tuu...hihi...hari2 ak tgk..x pnah2 ne ak tgk brita,skalinya ak tgk jg..haha..aduyy..kdg2 tpkir..mmg kurang kerja btul bha ak ne kn..x pnah2 ne..huhuu..

tp bgus laa..tmbh pengetahuan am..dpt tw perkembangan semasa..nahh...itu bajet 2012 tu pun ak tgk!nahhhhh...ada sma kmu????neeehhhhhh......xda kan????

mcm biasa laa...perempuan...tgk drama bersiri..tp yg ini lg ak heran...biasanya ak x tgk tu crita2 mlayu..skrgg...huh!drama tv3 tu..soffiya??ak tgk tu..ari2..dr isnin smpi khamis..rncgan bru d astro ria..kelaaass kau maria??nahh..itu pun ak tgk jg...ermm..telemovie ka tu arhh d tv1..mencari bidadari??ak tgk...apa lg arhh???hurmm...

hah!drama korea!coffee prince??d ntv7..ak tgk jg tu..pasta??d tv2..ak tgk jg..aduyy...x pnah2 ne ak tgk tv2 dgn tv1..ak tgk!!hoho...

biasa la..klu drama2 siri omputeh..ak mmg tgk pun..gossip girl,CSI,NCIS,perfect couples,hot in cleveland..

crita2 indon pun ak tgk jgk!!sgala movie dorg yg dlu2 tuu..d channel pelangi tuu...ak tgk!!ak paling suka tuu d channel bintang..realigi,opera van java,extravaganza..nahh...

sgala crita d tv tu ak tgk..hohoh...kurang kerja btul bha...ndukk kesian bha hdupku nee...tp yg bgusnya..aktivitiku ne x kuarkn 1 sen pun!sbb..ak tnggal d umah maksu..mkn d tanggung spenuhnya n sgala bil2 maksu yg byr!hihi..

SD kawin ??? oh NO !!!

“kawin la kau..”

“ngee?ma sapa mau kawin ? haha .”

“dgn aku la.”

“aww. naek minang la..”

“haha.ckp mu tu bha.”

d suh SD ak kawin. haha . tp x plk dea mw kawin. dea kata buat pa mw kawin. jelek bha tuh. haha . ngam la . ak pun rsa gtu jg.

tp klu kw propose ak , spt biasa ak akn ckp “klu kw blh belikn ak cincin Tiffany tu, bru ak mw kawin ma kw” haha .

ak mw bha tuh Tiffany. impian ku dr dulu. ak ada check harganya. mw rm40 ribu jg. hehe. kaya bha jg kw kn syg ? belikn la bha ak. hehe.

eh .. btw, beberapa jam ne . ak tba2 tpkir . cmana la tuh kn klu dea kawin . aku cemana ? blh ka dea jd suami yg baek ? blh ka dea jd ayah yg baek ? bahagiakah isterinya nanti ? aiyer !! isteri !!! sepa isterinya nanti ????? ahhh .. mcm x blh trima la plk klu dea kawin .. klu kawin ma ak , ok ! x kisah . tp klu sma org laen … nangis x blagu la ne .. haha ..

ai ? npa ne . jatooh chenta ka sda sma SD mu ? haha . maybe . npa ak gelisah ea pkir psl dea d suh kawin ? and npa jg ak x blh trima klu dea kwin ma org laen . aiyo !

yg, tgu la ak bha . huhu . sma2 la kta . aisshh . sound so desperate owh . :p

ak mw yg mcm dlu ..

“ak cmburu sbb itu la ak diamkn diri”

suda2 la tu dir mw cmburu .. c ajai tu bknnya org yg ptut kw jeleskn .. dea tu kwnku ja, x pnh lbih dr itu .. ak anggap dea mcm abgku sda.. tlg la.. jan la mw cmbru bha ..klu ada pa2 slhku, ckp ja trus trg .. ak mnta maaf, ak prbtulkn sumanya ,, jan la bgni .. x senang atiku .. hurrmm …

ak pling x ska la keadaan bgni melanda ak .. x snang ak .. x tenang atiku .. ak pling x ska d c bgni .. diam2.. x text .. x call .. nothing!  makin jauh bha .. ak dgn kwn2 yg laen x jg gni .. x rpat cmana pun, ttp jg still contact2 .. tp kw , kw tu blh kira rpt bha jg .. cuz since January kta kwn kn .. tp skalinya plk, tba2 jd gni .. adehh ..

almost suma crita ak kongsi ma kw, skalinya gra2 satu bnda ja kta blh jd gni .. aisshhh .. ilang pelangiku bha.. xda sua yg blh c ceria ak tiap ari ..

apa lae cranya spaya kta blh jd mcm dlu lae ? ak rndu tym dlu2 ..  seriously , prlu ka ak ckp ma kw yg ak rindu kw .. apa cranya spaya kta blh jd mcm dlu lae ? ak rndu kta tym dlu .. L

kenapa ne ???

HEY ! wassup ! waitin for tomorrow , and I’ll be leavin !

wee~ x sbr sya mw tnggalkn tmpt ne bha . buhsan sua .

ngee~ sya mw komplen satu bnda ne .

wui . x than ak d c bgni bha !!! xku suka d c bgni . jan bgni bha! tlg la ea .

lyan la ak bgus2 bha . sjak bla ak x lyan kw bgus2 ne smpi kw buat bgni ma ak ?

aisshh . x pnah2 ak rsa bgni . npa jua ne ? klu ada smthg wrong, btau la.

kta bincang bgus2 . bkn bgni. ari tu kw ada ckp kn sbb kw bgni , I thought bnda ne sua settle. skalinya , lngsung xda ! mcm x settle . ok fine ! klu kw xmw contact ma ak lg, ak x kisah. tp, btau la .. jan buat org bgni .

laen2 ak rsa . maybe kw xtw yg ak ne jnis org yg xska lose a friendship . it feels like hell !

I’ve did wat eu want , I’m willing to do anything as long as it can heal our friendship !

ak x blh gni trus bha . aisshh . laen ak rsa . tlg la .

x tenang ak . ssh ati ku sbb kwn ku ada yg bgni ..

untuk tahir ..

          aku rndu kau sgt2 tahir. ak xtw npa . sjak kblkgn ini aku rindu kau . rindu. rindu yg teramat sgt. dan jgn tnya npa ak blh rndu kw ne . ak sendiri pun xtw.

         

          aku mau minta maaf kat kau . ak rsa bsalah sgt2. ak taw ak slh sngka ari tu . ak tau aku salah. aku tau aku slalu slah fham, slalu cemburu buta. tu suma sebab aku sayangkan kau, aku takut kehilangan kau. seriously, I mean it. I mean this. I mean all these words that I’ve just mentioned.

          Yes. Aku sayang kau. aku masih sayangkan kau. aku minta maaf sebab aku delete kau dari facebook ari tu. aku minta maaf jg sbb ak block kau dr fb ari tu. skrg, ak unblock sua kw. tp ak x add kw. ak tkt. ak tkt bla ak add kw, ak tkt kw x approve ak.

         

          ak taw hatimu baek. tp ak ttp tkut jg nti atimu sda berubah bla dgn ak. ak mnta maaf sbb ak mengelak dr kw. jujur ak akui, jauh dlm atiku ak rndu kw sgt2. I longed for eu.

          aku ada soalan ak mw tnya kw klu kta dpt contact blik. “kau masih anggap aku girlfriend mu ka lg ?” yes. that’s my question for eu. I’m gonna ask eu that. seems like ak mcm mw ma kw blik kn? haha. adui. gla bha ak. so dumb. but I’m gonna ask eu jg soalan tuh. x tipu. lambat laun ya, ak akn tnya jg tuh soalan bla kta dpt contact blik.

          aku pun mau ckp dgn kau bnda ne “ aku minta maaf sgt2 sbb mrh dgn kau ari tu. ya, aku tau ak merajuk lma sgt. 4 bulan. bukan tempoh yang singkat. 4 bulan aku merajuk bwa hatiku yg luka ne jauh2 dr kau. tym kau chat ma ak 4 bulan yg lalu pun, ak layan kau maw x maw ja. sbb knapa ? sbb ak mc terkilan dgn kau. ak mc sakit hati. tipula kalau ak ckp ak blh lupa sms yg ak bca d hp mu tu. masih tbayang2 lae d mataku bnda yg ak bca tu. each of it. I still remember those. masih segar d ingatan ku. but skrg ak maw lupakan sda tu. ak xmw pduli sda bnda tu. ya. mngkin ak xkn dpt lupa bnda tu 100% . tapi aku akan cuba. ak akn cuba spaya ak dpt maafkn kw seikhlas hatiku. ak x nafikn yg ak still marah dgn kw lg. tp, apa juga gunanya maw marah kau lama2 kan ? like I told eu before. ak bkn jenis yg suka2 ja tinggalkn org. so, whatever happens. I will stick wit eu no matter wat. smpi la kw yg ckp ‘lets break up’ bru ak akn pergi undur diri.”

          dalam masa 4 bulan ne. mcm2 jd ma ak. ak hangout ma ex-bf ak. ak dpt kwn bru. ak dpt result spm. ak kerja unprofessionally cuz my mom paid me and it’s unofficial workin but I love it. ak hangout ma ex ak pun sbb tym tu ak skit ati ma kw, ak ckp “klu kw blh jln dgn ppuan laen npa x ak ?” tgk bha. ego kn ak. keras kepalanya ak. jahatnya ak dgn kw.

          msti kw t’tnya2 apa motifku delete and block kw d fb. motif ialah I can’t stand viewing ur fb each day in my life. I just can’t. ak tgk fb kw hari2. ak tgk perkembangannya. ak xtw npa. smpi la satu saat ak x than lg, ak trus decide ak delete kw and ak block kw. I’m too upset with  myself. I’m loving someone who already changed me to be better but that someone is not in love with me anymore. that someone is you. that someone is you tahir. yes. he is you. yourself.

          mohd tahir bin bahari, kalau kau baca ne, aku harap kau boleh maafkn aku and we can go back to normal. no heart-feeling. and for xtw kali yang keberapa, AKU MINTA MAAF. mungkin kau akn mrh plk dgn ak sbb I made this public but hey! I’m the type of person who love to go public about my feeling and all. I want the whole world to noe how I feel. specially bout org yg ak syg. and ya! kw mc dlm list org yg ak syg. J

          oh. and this one for eu. it’s a song. taylor swift yg nyanyi. lirik ne ngam sda utk btau ma kw tntang prasaan ak. klu kw ingat , kta gduh bulan disember kn ? mlm ? kn ? and first tym kw nmpak ak nangis pun bln september kn ? birthday kw baru2 ne pun ak xda wish kn? so, this song is about.. eu can say .. about me .. guess what ? saying sorry to eu ..

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night",
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leavin'
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

I go back to December all the time.
All the time 

SD is back !!~

sya happy .. :D

sebelum itu .. lemme nyanyi skit .. huu ..

bintang terlihat terang ,
saat dirimu datang ,
cinta yang dulu hilang ,
kini kembali pulang ,

lihatlah dia mulai bernyanyi ,
coba merangkai mimpi ,
cinta yang dulu pergi ,
kini datang kembali ,

kekasih yang dulu hilang ,
kini dia tlah kembali pulang ,
akan ku bawa dia terbang ,
damai bersama bintang ,
kekasih yang dulu hilang ,
kini dia tlah kembali pulang ,
betapa senang ku dendangkan ,
dan takkan ku lepaskan ....

ngeehee~~~ happy saya bha ..

my SD .. comeback .. hee~~ to sapa2 yg xtw spa kah gerangan SD tu .. buat2 taw ja la ea .. hee~~~ happy saya !!!!!!

thanx for coming back .. thanx for coming back and look for me .. i appreciate it a lot hunn .. cayunk eu sgt2! thanx jugak cuz explain kpd saya why eu couldn't be reached for a few months.. thanx jga cuz bg number phone kw blik .. thanx a lot k .. we'll keep in touch .. 

kasi hilang mood sja !

          hey fuckers ! ahah . kidding ja . jgn trasa . actually , tu ja pkataan yang balik2 dtg d ruang minda ne .

          Actually , xda mood bha sya sjk kblkgn ini. Mls mw bls mesej , mw jwb call . sya maw jawab call dr seseorg ne ja . org laen sya xmw . sya x pduli la . sya mw dea ja . number ne ja . 019******4 ja yg call sya bru sya jwb. sya x mw selaen number ne arh .

          xda msa sya sda mw blogwalking, blogging , maki2 org, umpat org. aehh . xda mood jgk mw buat bgtu . tp sumtym tekeluar jgk makian dr mulut ne . adeh . pkoknya SYA XDA MOOD la bha.

          Tadi kn , bgus2 sda ada mood sya . skalinya ada org call sya , sya pkirkn papa yg call cuz ringtone utk caller ne sma bha . skalinya c bangsat pulak yg call .blm lg sya gnti upanya . adeii . mls pnya psl . jd mw d pndekkn cerita sya cpt2 angkat dgn melihat sekilas sja nma caller d skrin hp . skalinya t’nmpak nma c bangsat tu , bru sda sy answer mode ne hp. adeii . knapala . b’debar2 jgk ati sya . dlm ati ne sda memaki dri sndri cuz x tgk btul2 caller id d skrin hp . huh ! t’jwb sda , sya ckp la .

          “ hello ? “

          “ hello ? “

          “ hello ? “ naik pns sda bdn ne . buduh jgk hello2 trus . mw mkn maki ka kw ?!

          “ sepa ne ? “ menanya c bangsat .

          “ kw sepa ? “ ku tnya kw blik ! huh !

          “ sepa ne ? “ aehh . bodoh !

          “ slh number bha kw ne . “ naehh . ambik kw . trus ku c mati .

          bodoh kn . menelefon ja tp bgtu . tahap apa sua kilik mu tu babun . skalinya bbrapa minit mengsms plk dea . “maen2 ja tdi bha “ aehh . pduli pa aku kw mw maen ka apa ka . bukn urusan ku ! mls sua ak dgn kw! p la kw urus c tua tu !

          bgus2 ak ada mood, ilang blk. kw pkir snang ka mw c dtg itu mood . huh !

SAYA BAHAGIA TINGGALKAN KAU :)

             Firstly, let me recall back apa yg tlh tjadi slama 7 bulan kta bsama . Hurmm . byk juga arh bnda2 yg kw buat yg bkin sya happy . Dan x kurang la jgk bnda2 yg buat sya nangis tiap mlm , menyesali stiap pbuatan sya . Sya pun bgtu jgk .. byk jgk bnda yg sya sda buat untuk kw , untuk hubungan kita . I did the very best I can .  BUT , semuanya sia-sia .

          Tidak mengapa . sya tidak kisah itu semua , yg pntg ak bahagia meninggalkan dirimu . haha . LAUGH OFF YOU STUPIDASS !!

          Ak selama dgn kw ne . mcm2 ak jga . spya buat kw bhgia . ak try x swear d blog , d fb ku . ak sopan2 . ak x lyn llaki sgt . ak jga ati kw . suma la ak buat . yg kdg2 ak rsa ak x ptut buat pun ak buat jgk . semua tu demi apa ? demi kau semua itu . demi kau yang ak sayangi . hurmm . tapi semuanya hancur lebur . musnah semuanya. Gara-gara apa tu ? hah??gara-gara apa ? gara-kau la !

          Kau yang x pndi mw hargai apa yg org sda buat utk kw . ak d cni jau dr kw . 380 KM JAUHNYA ~! Cuba kw byg kn . pnya setia sya sma kw ne ! even kw jauh . ak jga setiaku. Aku jga perangaiku. Ak x buat perangai lamaku . kenapa suma tu ? kerana kaw!! SEBAB KAU LA BASTARD !! HANJENG !!

          Ak defend kw depan semua org sebab apa ? bukan sebab aku syg sgt sma kw . jgn perasan . sebab parents aku ! sebab parents aku syg btul sma kau ! kau la KUNUK menantu pilihan . adeii !! mummy , klu mummy tau perangai dea yg btul mcm mana . msti mummy tendang2 sda dia dr idup ak mummy !!

          Aku pikir kn kau la yg pling last . rupanya kw la yg d tgh2 jgk . mncarik jgk ak llaki laen lg . nah . x apa la . x jgk ak perlukan HANJENG mcm kw . kw skadar permainan ku ja .

          Kau bila aku ckp something , bila ak suarakan kesedihan ak psl kta . atau psl apa2 ja la . kw msti ckp “ owh . bha . ea la . ltak la suma slh dgn ak . biar la ak yg tnggung sumanya . “ mcm BABI !! kw la llaki yg pling sial pnah ak jmpa kw tw . huh !

          Ok ! mls sda mw maki2 . pnt sda ne . mw tdo sda . akhir kalam dr ku , AKU TINGGALKAN KAU DGN PEREMPUAN MALANG YG X CNTIK TU . YG CNTIK LG AKU SEBENARNYA , HAHA! C MUKA TUA TU JUGAK KAU PILIH ! KUIKUIKUI . KASIAN . bha . ngam la kalian berdua . yg stu *** mcm shit ! bsr *** ! yg stu lg *** mcm nenek . bsr *** . ngam la ! ngam sgt ! compatibility kmu tu 100% . kahkahkah !! blum puas ati sya ne mw mngolok kmu . dr dlu sya smpan . skrg bru sy blh lpas . sbnrnya mmg sda lma bha ne sya c lpas . tp skrg ne bru mw public2 . huhu . buduh kn . hurmm ..

          Saya tidak akan menangisi apa yang telah terjadi kerana yang berlalu itu tetap menjadi masa lalu dan ia memang tidak boleh di ubah lagi . oleh itu , saya hanya mampu tersenyum dan mengatakan “ saya gembira dengan keputusan yang baru saya buat ini ”

          Eventhough we went through quite a lot , but I don’t feel anything hurts other than when I read the text on the phone and all the comments about you via Facebook . but, I don’t want to feel anymore hurts cuz I found out that you’re no good to me.

OKAY !! JOM COUNTDOWN RAMAI-RAMAI SEMUANYA !!!!

WOOHOOO !!!! LET’S DRINK !!! KOMBE !!!!!

I’m not goin to waste my tym to cry and regret !

thanx SD ..

this is getting cooler .

better than I thought .

WELCOME BACK PAPA !

I MISS YOU SO MUCH .

finally u've come back . i'm happy , happy so much . but i cant let a single tears of joy tearing down . i just couldnt't . there are no more tears that i can let out , even if it for happiness .

papa , eu dun noe how miser my life was when u're not with me . 

thanx papa . for saving me once again . i owe eu big . 

wasiat ku ...

When first snow came
We promised that going to walk together this street but now it’s empty street

I’m holding our small rings and our massy memories
What’s wrong
What hates me

I can’t think about it
You may like her because she’s better than me
Please tell me you are sorry or miss you

Even you are not going back to me
You look happy with her so I’ll back you off one step back
I don’t make you smile so it’s useless holding you
I’m not the one that makes your heart is beating
Please tell me you are sorry or miss you

Even you are not going back to me
You look happy with her so I’ll back you off one step back
It’s not so true isn’t it?
I know that everything, I was so scared
But I denyed

I’m sorry, you may hurt too
I don’t wanna see you even by accident but you two are so good together
I’m alright

Even you are not mine I will keep an eyes on you
I won’t forget you so fast because I’m such a slow woman

miss MY EX ! (4th episode)

huuuuuufffffffffffttttttttttttttt ... papa, this is harder than i thought .  where are you now ??

Where are you now

When I need you the most

Why don't you take my hand 

I wanna be close

Help me when i am down

lift me up off the ground

teach me right from wrong

help me to stay strong

Take my hand and walk with me

Show me what to be

I need you to set me free

Where are you now?

Where are you now?

Now that im half grown

Why are we far apart?

i feel so alone

Where are you now?

when nothin's goin right?

where are you now?

i cant see the light

show me what to be

I need you to set me free

I need you to need me

Cant you see me

My heart is half empty

I'm not whole

when you're not with me

I want you here with me

To guide me

hold me and love me now

Where are you now?

Where are you now?

so take my hand and walk with me

show me what to be

i need you to set me free

LAST WORD FOR THIS EPISODE : NEED YOU ...

WHEN WILL I SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN ??

WHEN WILL YOU TOUCH MY HEART AGAIN ??

gift from ALLAH ..

tenangnya hidup ... huuu ... :)))

terima kasih ya ALLAH ... :))

hope perasaan ne kekal selamanya ..

it's such a magic how aku blh rsa tenang even byk perkara buruk yg melanda ...

tapi

apa2 pun

aku harap semuanya kembali spt sediakala ..

SECRET (3RD EPISODE)

Selamat siang pamirsa (slamat siang cuz ak wat ne tyme siang2) bertemu lagi kita dlm my blog story yg bertajuk SECRET .. kali ini my blog story suda msuk ke episode yg ke3 .. sepanjang cerita ne .. ak x abes2 merapu psal ak pnya kisah idop since ak bersama2 mr.sweetheart yg tak brapa nak perfect but ALMOST perfect ..

Why so ?? bcuz he almost fill the ciri-ciri of my mr.perfect !!

Eh .. tp kn … sblum kmu ckp apa2 .. aku maw ckp dlu .. sukak aku la maw crita pa d blog ku ne !! bukan blog kmu pown … sepa suh bca .. xmaw bca , blah la !! jan la pulak duk betenggek laek d blog ku ne .. menyemak ja!

Episode kali ne ak rsa ak maw meluahkan la bha suma pendapat psl bnda2 yg ak maw ckp .. yg terlintas d pkiranku ..

Ari ne .. bersamaan dgn 16 oktober 2010 .. beberapa aril g ne mw spm .. ak maw confess something .. AK BUHSAN ..

Buhsan dgn suma yg ak ada ..ak maw pegi satu tmpt yg menggembirakn dan menyenangkn .. buhsan ak dgn sgalanya .. suma yg ak wat mcm x kna  ja .. ak x taw la ..

Relationship ..

relationshipku pun membosankn .. x la setiap masa membosankn .. tp .. eh .. ak x taw la .. I’m looking for a relationship .. I’m looking for love .. I’m looking for compromises .. I’m looking for seriousness .. I’m looking for a real man who never gets sick on me and always be sweet in no matter wat they did .. I also looking for a man who always text me sweetly no matter in wat condition they are .. whether they really busy or not .. because I believe when a person really really into you .. I mean really really love you .. they always find a way to make time for you .. no excuses ..

Scandal ..

Npa ak pnah ber scandal ?? sbb ak buhsan dgn bf ku .. npa ak blh terjebak dlm bidang skandal menyandal ne ?? slh satu pemangkin nya adalah sekadar bersuka-suka ..buhsan kn .. skandal la .. xtaw pa lg maw d buat .. hurmm .. jd klu org2 yg b’skandal ne .. ak taw sda npa kmu skandal .. x pyh la laek kmu maw menafikn .. nafsu kmu ja tuh x pndi kmu mw kwal .. x kecukupan dgn 1 org .. tp ada jgk bgusnya skandal ne .. utk menyelamatkn kta dr brokenhearted .. contohla kn .. kw ne sda setia maw mati dgn partner mu ne .. skalinya dea c break kw .. naa .. x ka kw skit .. jd mksudku cni ne .. mcm ada simpanan la bha .. tp ak x menggalakkan la .. dr kmu ja .. mw skandal ka x ..

MRSWEETHEART ..

And .. finally .. kmbali kpd mr sweetheart ..

Ari ne .. ak rsa relationship thing dgn mr sweetheart yg telampau mw sweet sgt ne MCM SIAL ja !! xda gna .. huuiiii .. ntah la .. ak x taw npa ak mampu ckp bgni .. mgkn gra2 ak pnas btul suda dgn perangainya .. mr sweetheart yg x brapa mw sweet suda .. sjak bbrapa ari ne .. dea change .. msej ak .. dea lmbt reply .. kdg2 x reply langsung .. npa ne ?? ada org laen ?? hurmmm … xpa la .. ak redha .. ak fham …FAHAM YANG TERAMAT SANGAT .. ak taw .. sepa ja la ak ne .. x pntg .. even yg dea fly p s’wak tuh pun .. xda dea btau ak .. I GET IT .. I’M NOBODY TO YOU .. ALWAYS .. NEVER BE THE IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE .. EVERRRR !!!!!!!

ermm .. ok la .. ne ja wat msa ne .. nti ak sambung g .. okay ??

next post ak akan reveal lagi … lebih jiwang lagi drpd episode 2 ne ..

oh ya .. “ EVERY WORDS HAS ITS OWN EXPLANATION .. SO DO MY ACTIONS “

LOVE EU  SWEETHEART … AWWWW … MMUUUAAAHHHH !!!!