Wednesday, July 28, 2010
wat i feel...
tgk 2..ko mmg LIE kat ak wa kn..skjp pgil e2,skjp pgil ini...suda la..t'bukti uda sumanya..i dun want to involve myself 2 eu ANYMORE...ak mlas udah ne..ko bkin jiwa ak kusut..buat ak mkn antidepressant trus menerus..buat ak bad mood...buat ak seems lost my friend...ko x pham ka suma 2??oh ya...ko mmg x pena mo pham kn...dr dlu smpi skrunk ko mmg xmo pham...sbb ko d lahirkn bkn utk pham ak...tp utk pham ppuan laen..
Friday, July 23, 2010
bAd GiRL gOoD gIrL..tHiS iS mE...
You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know Me, So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Shut Up.
You couldn’t say a thing in front of me, but you could talk badly about me behind my back. I’m dumbfounded.
Hello, Hello, Hello.
It seems like the first time, time, time you’ve seen a girl like me.
Why do you judge me?
Are you afraid of me, perhaps?
On the outside, I’m a Bad Girl.
On the inside, I’m a Good Girl.
You don’t even know me well, you only look at me from the outside.
I find your gaze to be funny because you see me as a pitiful girl.
When I dance, I’m a Bad Girl.
When I love, I’m a Good Girl.
When you watch me dance, you become mesmerized, but are you done after you watch?
I find your hypocrisy to be funny because you point at me.
These kind of clothes, this kind of hair, a girl who does these kind of dances is obvious.
You’re even more obvious.
Hello, Hello, Hello.
If you don’t have any confidence, go to the back, back, back.
You just need to step back.
Why do you keep making noise?
Don’t you know that your heart can clearly be seen?
On the outside, I’m a Bad Girl.
On the inside, I’m a Good Girl.
You don’t even know me well, you only look at me from the outside.
I find your gaze to be funny because you see me as a pitiful girl.
When I dance, I’m a Bad Girl.
When I love, I’m a Good Girl.
When you watch me dance, you become mesmerized, but are you done after you watch?
I find your hypocrisy to be funny because you point at me.
I’m looking for a man who can handle me.
I’m looking for a real man, not a man who acts like one through words.
Isn’t there a man who won’t make me anxious because he overflows with confidence?
So that I can be me, so that I can watch him freely from afar?
On the outside, I’m a Bad Girl.
On the inside, I’m a Good Girl.
You don’t even know me well, you only look at me from the outside.
I find your gaze to be funny because you see me as a pitiful girl.
When I dance, I’m a Bad Girl.
When I love, I’m a Good Girl.
When you watch me dance, you become mesmerized, but are you done after you watch?
I find your hypocrisy to be funny because you point at me.
You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know Me.
You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know Me, So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Shut Up.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
emotion & depression...
I want to hate so much but I'm afraid of Law of Karma..
I don't want things to go back to me..
I want to hate so much so that I don't have to keep a vengeance and seeking for revenge..
Holding back my anger doesn't help me to stay positive and stay calm..
It makes me goin crazy..
OMG...why do I have to be so foolish on those time...
1 person says " kesian dea.. "
Another person says " we need to comfort her in order to make her stay calm "
Other person says " I also have my own prob..does she always be the DRAMA QUEEN ?? "
Other person says " She's been through a lot recently "
Other person says " she needs her tahir she needs to be comfort by him..where is he??
Other person says " she already broke up or not??I don't think so.. "
Other person says " but she's been thinking bout those things a lot lately "
The teacher asks " does she have a problem?? "
The other answered " she seems okay..but we don't know bout her inner"
BUT....
here's what I say...
I SAY " yes, i've been through a lot lately..It's all about emotion and depression..Of course I need my tahir to comfort me..but..when will he be back???I want to tell the whole world bout what i went through and how i feel...but will you all listening?????!!!!I don't think that you all will listen to what I wanted to say..I know that you also have your own problem..that is why i keep on holding this feeling back..i don't want this to affect my studies..but it seems that it is..i don't know how to solve this..can you??do you know how to??i bet you can't..i bet you don't...I'm going crazy as it is..I'm just passing the time waiting for my time to come..I'm not seeking for death but I'm seeking for happiness..If you know that i need to be comfort..then why you all not doing it???where is your effort as the so-called 'TRUE FRIEND'????you call yourselves as my chingu, but you don't even know your role in this matter..
Yes, i've been thinking about breaking up a with my tahir a lot lately..but i'm afraid about the things that will come..Will I be able to go on without him??But, I KNOW ONE THING FOR SURE...If i'm not born as I am now..then everything will be over..i'll be ok...that is the ONLY thing that i can be sure of...i miss my tahir..
Friday, July 16, 2010
for this time being...
i hate being myself!
i hate being in this condition...
no money, no cash, but with lot to pay!
yg pntg skrunk bg ak...
DUIT ngan pelajaran!
tp x ble jgk ak fokus study lau xda duitku!!!
i depend a lot kat my money...
second situation...
mish hubby!!
tp dea x msej pun...
huh..ok bha...
ko x msej,ak pun x msej...
huuu...egonya ak...
tkut dea lupa ak...
huuu..ntah la...
ak sndri xtw pa yg ak maw sbnarnya...
keep on crying...on and on..
nobody knows...
i dun even noe why...
why i cried...
and keep on tearing..
keep on tearing my eyes...
third situation...
pening secara berterusan tnpa henti sejak 11 july...
xble than...
can't be stopped the dizziness...
dunno wats wrong wif me...
smpi skrunk ne mac trasa..huh
udah wat sumanya...
mkn ubat...
rehat...
tdo...
smpi tem klas pun ak tdo...
naa...telebih rehat da kali...
smpi ak jd mlas...
telan anti-depressant pun suda gak...
xlma ADDICTED ngan anti-depressant LAGI ne...
semua suda ak try...
xku taw lg ne...
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