Pecah Perasaan (000010 - 000012)

000010

Samada kau sayang aku atau tidak

Samada kau ikhlas dengan aku atau tidak

Samada kau jujur dengan aku atau tidak

Aku tidak tahu

Tapi apa yang buat aku percaya semua itu

Apabila kau buktikan melalui tindakan

Ya

Aku tidak mampu lakukan apa yang aku minta kau lakukan

Aku tahu

Ajarlah aku

Bagaimana untuk menzahirkan semua itu melalui perbuatan

Bagaimana untuk menzahirkan semua itu melalui kata-kata

Agar aku juga merasakan yang sama

Agar kita sama-sama merasakannya

Agar kita mampu bahagia bersama

000011

Jangan datang lagi

Jangan datang dan merayu aku lagi

Jangan berharap lagi

Tolonglah!

Pergilah

Carilah kehidupanmu yang kau inginkan

Tanpa aku

Aku mohon

Aku merayu

000012

Harus kau tahu

Aku sudah tawar hati

Aku sudah mati hati

Semua tentang kita sudah tawar bagi aku

Bukan kerana orang lain

Tapi kerana kita berdua

Pecah Perasaan (000007 - 000009)

000007

Aku bukan ahli nujum

Aku bukan pakar psikologi 

Aku tak mampu baca apa yang ada di fikiranmu

Aku tak mampu baca apa yang tersirat di hatimu

Malah aku tak mampu memahami riak wajahmu

Aku merayu

Kalau ada yang tidak kena dengan aku

Kalau ada yang tidak kena dengan tuturku

Terus terang katakan dengan aku

Tolonglah

000008

Terima kasih

Sebab selalu ingatkan aku tentang ibadah

Sebab selalu ingatkan aku tentang aurat

Terima kasih

Sebab keluarga aku senang dengan kau

Terima kasih 

Sebab berikan aku keyakinan baru dalam hidup

Sebab berikan aku senyuman aku yang dulu

000009

Tuhan temukan kita bersebab

Dan aku bersyukur

Tuhan temukan kita

Satu aku pinta

Jangan pergi dari hidup aku

Sebab kau buat aku senyum 

Dan pandang hidup ini ke arah yang positif

Pecah Perasaan (000004 - 000006)

000004

Mengapa kau sering ucapkan ayat yang sepertinya di mulut sahaja

Sedangkan aku ucapkan apa yang aku maksudkan

“Whatever happens, I’ll be beside you”

“I’ll do anything for you”

Mengapa kau ucapkan

Tapi tidak maksudkannya

Mengapa aku tidak ucapkan

Sedangkan aku lakukan 

Jangan hancurkan aku lagi

Aku sudah penat kecewa

Aku bersama kau untuk mengubati luka 

Kerana kau menjanjikan sesuatu yang berbeza dari sebelum ini

000005

Aku mahu bahagia

Aku mahu senyum

Adakah ini satu hal yang susah untuk dikecapi?

000006

Jangan buaikan aku dengan kata-kata manis

Dengan ucapan sayang

Jangan taburkan aku janji-janji 

Yang sekadar janji

Jika kau sendiri tak bermaksud apa yang kau katakan

Sudah!

Berhenti!

Jangan ucap lagi!

Aku tak mahu dengar

Kalau semua itu sekadar ucapan yang tidak bermakna

Unknown Error

Bukan mudah untuk cinta menghilang

Bukan mudah untuk tidak sayang lagi

Bukan mudah untuk tidak merindu lagi

Tetapi

Semua itu boleh terjadi

Janji lah kau kepada dia

Berkatalah kau 

Bersumpahlah kau sekuat mana pun

Yang kau takkan melangkah pergi dari hidupnya

Semua itu boleh terjadi

Kau mahu tahu caranya?

Sangat mudah

Kau taburkan janji manismu

Kau buat dia percaya semua katamu

Selepas itu

Kau langgar semuanya

Jangan pernah kau tunaikan janjimu yang pernah kau tabur padanya dulu

Jangan pernah kau ada untuknya saat dia perlukan kau

Pergi menghilang di saat dia perlu kau

Muncul lah hanya pada saat senangnya

Bila dia ingin pergi

Kau rayu dia

Janji tak akan buat lagi

Kau ulangi berkali-kali

Bertahun jika kau mampu

Bila dia akhirnya sedar

Pasti cinta itu akan hilang

Pasti rindu tidak bertandang lagi

Pasti sayang itu takkan ada

Bila sudah tiba waktu itu

Hatinya mati

Hatinya tawar

Takkan ada lagi peluang untuk kau

Bila sudah tiba waktu itu

Jangan pula kau tuduh dia curang

Jangan pula kau tuduh dia mungkir pada janjinya

Bila sudah tiba waktu itu

Kau pula yang seharusnya sedar

Yang dia juga punya hati dan perasaan

Hati dan perasaan itu juga ingin dihargai

Hati dan perasaan itu juga ingin dipeluk saat jatuh hancurnya

Hati dan perasaan itu juga ingin merasa

Bahagianya bila tertunai janji manis dari kau

Kini

Jangan salahkan dia!

Jangan salahkan dia bila dia tidak mahu memberi peluang lagi

JANGAN SALAHKAN DIA!

(Elviera, 2015.08.18, 0249)

This Semester Has Begun..

Haiii..assalamualaikum..

New semester has begun..last semester was :

Academically : GREAT!!!ALHAMDULILLAH.. J

Personally : Not so good..Alhamdulillah.. :’)

But all I can say is I thank and grateful for all that..God has taught me on how to live on my own..He taught me that I shouldn’t just trust and giving chance to people whom already hurt me mentally..

He showed me His power..all the thing that he mention in the holy Quran is Right! I keep on believing on Him more and more.. I want to share what is that He showed me..

He once said that and it sounds like this “those who don’t perform their prayer for Subuh and Isyak’ are MUNAFIKIN..”

Damn He is right.. I saw that person..and of course He keep on making me giving my endless gratitude towards Him..

I just don’t care of what whores are talkin bad about me..i just don’t really care..

Okayyyyy..forget about that last semester story..now let me tell ya’ll about this semester..

Actually..i’m not ready yet for this semester but..whatever..challenge accepted! Life is not a thrill without a challenge or a force of doing something..so I started this semester..

With 5 FST subjects and 1 Statistic subject! 20 credit hour.. I just can’t let another 3 credit hour in for Organic Chemistry or Calculus I ..

So I took a brave decision to take those 2 subject in my final year..and I hope I can make this through..with all this subject and graduate ON TIME!! Ameen …. *finger’s crossed*

Eventhough I got no mood for all this..but I will find the mood and make the mood..so it started with this blog drafting.. J hewhew~

Back In Touch I

Hye assalamualaikum..

So for the post for this time .. ntah la .. ak sbnrnya xda idea sgt..so I was thinking bout telling u the basic  10 things about me .. I think .. but before that .. ak mau crita .. since ak ada mood mau crita ne .. psl ak pnya gay bestie.. actually after ak abs final ari tu .. ak sort of lost contact dgn dea .. after madir sibuk tuduh ak sama dea tu kapel .. haha .. so ..kami lost contact laa ..

But then recently I’ve just got a news from him.. saying that he’s doing good, jobless, waiting for graduate/convocation ceremony.. just helping his parents buat stor dkt rumahnya .. haha ..

And he said that my life is sengsara .. haha .. so honest .. u noe wat .. sbb itu la ak ska kwn dgn dea .. why dea ckp life ak sengsara ?? bcuz kmi mcm buat flashback la .. mcm trying to catching up things yg kmi tlepas share … sort of like that laa.. so ak crita la sma dea .. and he as usual .. dgr ja and bg pendapat nya yg sejujur-jujurnya ..

And yeah .. when I shared stories with him I feel safe enough, comfortable, grateful sbb ALLAH kurniakn kwn sbaik dea.. :’) its not that ak x feel safe and comfortable and grateful bla ak dgn c madir .. tp kwn dgn husband lain u noe..

When it comes to gaybestfriend and your husband..of course both of them are the best but vote will be more dkt gaybestfriend bcuz they sense a lot.. unlike husbands.. gay bestfriend aware sgt2 aware tntg their partner-in-crime..they really care about their girlfriend’s feeling.. u know.. hmm .. hard to explain laa .. bkn mau kc mnang dea ka apa .. tp .. u noe what .. why don’t you try .. why don’t you try to have a gay-bestfriend so kamu blh judge then..and u can faham then..

And since I got back in touch with him .. he doesn’t even change a bit..still treat me the same mcm hari pertama kami kenal.. still care,still funny, and of course..still gay.. haha .. tension brabis tu org sma ak sbb ak pnggil dea gay..

Malar dea ckp “ak bukan gay bhaa..ak suka pmpuan bhaaa” hahah .. sorry la bro.. u are more like gay to me .. not ur appearance or what but.. how u treat me tu yg buat kau dpt pengiktirafan terhormat dr aku..u are the second person on earth yg ak pnah panggil bgtu..

Aku Akan Terus Bertahan.. :')

Kau lukai hati dan perasaan ini..

Tapi entah mengapa aku masih mampu memberikan maaf padamu..

Mungkin kerana cinta kepadamu tulus dari dasar hatiku..

Mungkin kerana aku berharap kau dapat mengerti cintaku..

Lihat aku di sini bertahan walau kau sering menyakiti..

Hingga air mataku tak dapat menitis dan habis terurai..

Meski kau terus sakiti aku..

Cinta ini akan selalu memaafkan..

Dan aku percaya nanti engkau akan mengerti bila cintaku takkan mati..

Hanya Aku

Bersama janji kau sentuh rasa percaya
Hangat dinginmu mengundang rindu kecewa
Hanya aku dihuni sepi rasa kasihmu

Hanya ku yang mencari
Rembulan masih ada
Mungkin seketika
Walau ku bahagia mengejar bayanganmu
Tak mungkin ku beroleh saat indah bersamamu
Hanya aku
Apakah mungkin berulang janji setia
Apa kan kekal ataupun menyambut duka
Dan dirimu di janji Sang Sempurna
Dan kecewa kini dipulih rasa kasihmu
Dihuni rasa rindu
Dingin rasa kasihmu
Bagai bintang bersemi
Rindu janji bicara
Kekal selamanya
Walau sekadar mimpi
Tak pernah ku peduli
Selamanya kan ku pasti merindui dirimu
Hanya aku ..

You Are A Drug

Today was just another day
Emotionless and stale
Everytime I try to reach you
I always seem to fail

You're living in this shell
And you don't recognize your sin
You've taken not just me for granted
But the world you're living in

And so you stand there
And you pray for God to see
But the only one you have to be
Honest to is me

You are a drug,
I cannot quit you
You are a drug,
I'm still lonely with you
You're not in love,
But I still need to
Hold on to you
What have I gotten into?

Everytime I get a taste of you
It keeps me wanting more
Yeah, I suffocate from all the words
You said to me before

It seems as though you speak to me
As if it isn't sure
I know I fight for something
but what am I fighing for?

And so I stand there
And I pray for God to see
I just need the strength alone
To do what's best for me

You are a drug,
I cannot quit you
You are a drug,
I'm still lonely with you
You're not in love,
But I still need to
Hold on to you
What have I gotten into?

And this world is fast
It's passed me by
But you're still here
And I don't know why
You've lost your smile
But we can try
To bring it back to life

You are a drug,
I cannot quit you
You are a drug,
I'm still lonely with you
You're not in love,
But I still need to
Hold on to you
What have I gotten into?

Maybe

Didn't you wanna hear
the sound of all the places we could go?
Do you fear
the expressions on the faces we don't know?
It's a cold, hard road when you wake up,
and I don't think that I have the strength
to let you go.

Maybe it's just me.
Couldn't you believe that everything I said and did
wasn't just deceiving?
And the tear in your eye,
and your calm, hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place.

There goes my ring,
it might as well have been shattered.
And I'm here to sing
about the things that mattered.
About the things that made us feel alive for oh so long.
About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong.


And someday, I promise I'll be gone.
And someday, I might even sing this song to you.
I might even sing this song to you.
To you, to you, to you...
And I was crying alone tonight,
and I was wasting all of my life
just thinking of you.
So just come back,
we'll make it better.
So just come back,
I'll make it better than it ever was.

SD kawin ??? oh NO !!!

“kawin la kau..”

“ngee?ma sapa mau kawin ? haha .”

“dgn aku la.”

“aww. naek minang la..”

“haha.ckp mu tu bha.”

d suh SD ak kawin. haha . tp x plk dea mw kawin. dea kata buat pa mw kawin. jelek bha tuh. haha . ngam la . ak pun rsa gtu jg.

tp klu kw propose ak , spt biasa ak akn ckp “klu kw blh belikn ak cincin Tiffany tu, bru ak mw kawin ma kw” haha .

ak mw bha tuh Tiffany. impian ku dr dulu. ak ada check harganya. mw rm40 ribu jg. hehe. kaya bha jg kw kn syg ? belikn la bha ak. hehe.

eh .. btw, beberapa jam ne . ak tba2 tpkir . cmana la tuh kn klu dea kawin . aku cemana ? blh ka dea jd suami yg baek ? blh ka dea jd ayah yg baek ? bahagiakah isterinya nanti ? aiyer !! isteri !!! sepa isterinya nanti ????? ahhh .. mcm x blh trima la plk klu dea kawin .. klu kawin ma ak , ok ! x kisah . tp klu sma org laen … nangis x blagu la ne .. haha ..

ai ? npa ne . jatooh chenta ka sda sma SD mu ? haha . maybe . npa ak gelisah ea pkir psl dea d suh kawin ? and npa jg ak x blh trima klu dea kwin ma org laen . aiyo !

yg, tgu la ak bha . huhu . sma2 la kta . aisshh . sound so desperate owh . :p

kenapa ne ???

HEY ! wassup ! waitin for tomorrow , and I’ll be leavin !

wee~ x sbr sya mw tnggalkn tmpt ne bha . buhsan sua .

ngee~ sya mw komplen satu bnda ne .

wui . x than ak d c bgni bha !!! xku suka d c bgni . jan bgni bha! tlg la ea .

lyan la ak bgus2 bha . sjak bla ak x lyan kw bgus2 ne smpi kw buat bgni ma ak ?

aisshh . x pnah2 ak rsa bgni . npa jua ne ? klu ada smthg wrong, btau la.

kta bincang bgus2 . bkn bgni. ari tu kw ada ckp kn sbb kw bgni , I thought bnda ne sua settle. skalinya , lngsung xda ! mcm x settle . ok fine ! klu kw xmw contact ma ak lg, ak x kisah. tp, btau la .. jan buat org bgni .

laen2 ak rsa . maybe kw xtw yg ak ne jnis org yg xska lose a friendship . it feels like hell !

I’ve did wat eu want , I’m willing to do anything as long as it can heal our friendship !

ak x blh gni trus bha . aisshh . laen ak rsa . tlg la .

x tenang ak . ssh ati ku sbb kwn ku ada yg bgni ..

untuk tahir ..

          aku rndu kau sgt2 tahir. ak xtw npa . sjak kblkgn ini aku rindu kau . rindu. rindu yg teramat sgt. dan jgn tnya npa ak blh rndu kw ne . ak sendiri pun xtw.

         

          aku mau minta maaf kat kau . ak rsa bsalah sgt2. ak taw ak slh sngka ari tu . ak tau aku salah. aku tau aku slalu slah fham, slalu cemburu buta. tu suma sebab aku sayangkan kau, aku takut kehilangan kau. seriously, I mean it. I mean this. I mean all these words that I’ve just mentioned.

          Yes. Aku sayang kau. aku masih sayangkan kau. aku minta maaf sebab aku delete kau dari facebook ari tu. aku minta maaf jg sbb ak block kau dr fb ari tu. skrg, ak unblock sua kw. tp ak x add kw. ak tkt. ak tkt bla ak add kw, ak tkt kw x approve ak.

         

          ak taw hatimu baek. tp ak ttp tkut jg nti atimu sda berubah bla dgn ak. ak mnta maaf sbb ak mengelak dr kw. jujur ak akui, jauh dlm atiku ak rndu kw sgt2. I longed for eu.

          aku ada soalan ak mw tnya kw klu kta dpt contact blik. “kau masih anggap aku girlfriend mu ka lg ?” yes. that’s my question for eu. I’m gonna ask eu that. seems like ak mcm mw ma kw blik kn? haha. adui. gla bha ak. so dumb. but I’m gonna ask eu jg soalan tuh. x tipu. lambat laun ya, ak akn tnya jg tuh soalan bla kta dpt contact blik.

          aku pun mau ckp dgn kau bnda ne “ aku minta maaf sgt2 sbb mrh dgn kau ari tu. ya, aku tau ak merajuk lma sgt. 4 bulan. bukan tempoh yang singkat. 4 bulan aku merajuk bwa hatiku yg luka ne jauh2 dr kau. tym kau chat ma ak 4 bulan yg lalu pun, ak layan kau maw x maw ja. sbb knapa ? sbb ak mc terkilan dgn kau. ak mc sakit hati. tipula kalau ak ckp ak blh lupa sms yg ak bca d hp mu tu. masih tbayang2 lae d mataku bnda yg ak bca tu. each of it. I still remember those. masih segar d ingatan ku. but skrg ak maw lupakan sda tu. ak xmw pduli sda bnda tu. ya. mngkin ak xkn dpt lupa bnda tu 100% . tapi aku akan cuba. ak akn cuba spaya ak dpt maafkn kw seikhlas hatiku. ak x nafikn yg ak still marah dgn kw lg. tp, apa juga gunanya maw marah kau lama2 kan ? like I told eu before. ak bkn jenis yg suka2 ja tinggalkn org. so, whatever happens. I will stick wit eu no matter wat. smpi la kw yg ckp ‘lets break up’ bru ak akn pergi undur diri.”

          dalam masa 4 bulan ne. mcm2 jd ma ak. ak hangout ma ex-bf ak. ak dpt kwn bru. ak dpt result spm. ak kerja unprofessionally cuz my mom paid me and it’s unofficial workin but I love it. ak hangout ma ex ak pun sbb tym tu ak skit ati ma kw, ak ckp “klu kw blh jln dgn ppuan laen npa x ak ?” tgk bha. ego kn ak. keras kepalanya ak. jahatnya ak dgn kw.

          msti kw t’tnya2 apa motifku delete and block kw d fb. motif ialah I can’t stand viewing ur fb each day in my life. I just can’t. ak tgk fb kw hari2. ak tgk perkembangannya. ak xtw npa. smpi la satu saat ak x than lg, ak trus decide ak delete kw and ak block kw. I’m too upset with  myself. I’m loving someone who already changed me to be better but that someone is not in love with me anymore. that someone is you. that someone is you tahir. yes. he is you. yourself.

          mohd tahir bin bahari, kalau kau baca ne, aku harap kau boleh maafkn aku and we can go back to normal. no heart-feeling. and for xtw kali yang keberapa, AKU MINTA MAAF. mungkin kau akn mrh plk dgn ak sbb I made this public but hey! I’m the type of person who love to go public about my feeling and all. I want the whole world to noe how I feel. specially bout org yg ak syg. and ya! kw mc dlm list org yg ak syg. J

          oh. and this one for eu. it’s a song. taylor swift yg nyanyi. lirik ne ngam sda utk btau ma kw tntang prasaan ak. klu kw ingat , kta gduh bulan disember kn ? mlm ? kn ? and first tym kw nmpak ak nangis pun bln september kn ? birthday kw baru2 ne pun ak xda wish kn? so, this song is about.. eu can say .. about me .. guess what ? saying sorry to eu ..

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night",
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you.
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leavin'
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized that I loved you in the fall

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't.
So if the chain is on your door I understand.

I go back to December all the time.
All the time 

kesunyian ..

ngee~~ sunyi idup ku skrg bha.. apa ? c madir ? kimxx kmu ne mnanya..sudah! jgn tnya dea lg! dea suda lenyap dr idup ku .. jgn ckp psl deal g ! ak mls sua mw pkir psl dea . bkn apa . ak byk lg bnda dlm idup ne mw d crita . bkn juz dea ja . byk lg bnda yg lbih pnting dlm idup ne .ak sbnrnya mls mw ckp psal dea bha . eh . brapa kali sua ne ak mention yg ak mls sua mw ckp & pkir psal dea ? bru 1 bha kn ? hehe. bha.

          mw ckp psl betapa sunyi idupku . xda org mw d text . xda boyfriend. yeay! single bha saya! haha . nah. sua single ne, mknanya byk la msa ku utk dri sndri. utk pkir bnda laen selaen drpd pkir lelaki! hihi . bebas wha idup saya. tapi gara2 c big panda tuh ak x bebas sgt cuz bkas dea mrh kn ak yg tym ak mw jln ma c ajai tuh . kalah2 prangai mak ak weyh dea mrh. ngee~ kw jelek! :p !!

           

          ak mcm mw memaki bha. tp xtw apa bnda yg mw d maki. aisshh . ntah la . ak pun sndri x pham apa yg ak mw sbnrnya. yg ak tw ak sunyi ja skrg. hee. susah juak bha klu x skola sua..xda bnda pnting yg mw d buat. xda priority.klu dlu. keja umah msti d c siap., study utk exam, and yg pling best..byk bnda yg kna pkir which is bnda tu pntg like upsr, pmr, spm, exams, prasaan cgu, byangan msa depan..klu x bljr, x pndai, result x bgus, kw mw jd apa ? tukang sapu sampah ? itu yg slalu d pkir tym skola..

         

          skrg..xda sua! apa lagi result sua kuar kn.. nah.. d tau sda.. skrg ne, mnunggu ja panggilan mana2 .. hee.. buhsan.. keja dgn ibu.. buhsan jg.. ari2 layan facebook. kadang2 buhsan jg.. sjak bbrapa minggu ni , ak c online ja chat ku d fb .. nah.. rmai la yg mngajak chat tuh .. aisshh.. bru mnta num hp.. mls nya ak.. ak x ska la.. apa lg sjak mnggu ini ak sda c single relationship status ku d fb.. tmbh rmai la lg yg chat ma ak..heisshh..

          nti ak gnti tuh relationship status p separated.. haha.. best tuh .. lma sda mw buat tuh .. tp x pnah t’buat2 .. hurmmm .. MOTIF ak post utk ne kali adalah untuk berkongsi rasa tentang betapa sedihnya ak ne hari .. ek ? ak x tw la npa ak sedey2 ne .. aisshh .. pilu bha hatiku .. xda prasaan.. kesunyian ak .. L L L L

SD is back !!~

sya happy .. :D

sebelum itu .. lemme nyanyi skit .. huu ..

bintang terlihat terang ,
saat dirimu datang ,
cinta yang dulu hilang ,
kini kembali pulang ,

lihatlah dia mulai bernyanyi ,
coba merangkai mimpi ,
cinta yang dulu pergi ,
kini datang kembali ,

kekasih yang dulu hilang ,
kini dia tlah kembali pulang ,
akan ku bawa dia terbang ,
damai bersama bintang ,
kekasih yang dulu hilang ,
kini dia tlah kembali pulang ,
betapa senang ku dendangkan ,
dan takkan ku lepaskan ....

ngeehee~~~ happy saya bha ..

my SD .. comeback .. hee~~ to sapa2 yg xtw spa kah gerangan SD tu .. buat2 taw ja la ea .. hee~~~ happy saya !!!!!!

thanx for coming back .. thanx for coming back and look for me .. i appreciate it a lot hunn .. cayunk eu sgt2! thanx jugak cuz explain kpd saya why eu couldn't be reached for a few months.. thanx jga cuz bg number phone kw blik .. thanx a lot k .. we'll keep in touch .. 

this one for CHUBBY ..

i'm brokenhearted cuz of eu ..

and .....

am I still ?? LOVE YOU ??

tahir ..

ak still sayang kw ka ?? ermm .. i think so .. since 23rd march ak ingat kw trus .. reason ?? dunno .. teringat tym kta ada janji utk result SPM .. 

tahir :: klu syg blh kalahkn abg punya result SPM , abg bg hadiah .. 

dba :: apa la kunun hadiahnya ??

tahir :: ada la .. syg study ja la btul2 klu mw hadiah tu .. ingat .. kalahkan abg .. abg yakin syg blh ..

dba :: hurmm.. ya la .. syg kalah kn abg k .. abg ingat tu .. hadiah .. syg tgu ..

tahir :: ea bha syg .. study k ..


hurmm .. xdpt la hadiah .. cuz ak x dpt kalahkn kw dlm SPM .. kw dpt 4A , ak skadar 3A ja ..

x b'maksud pun kn ak still syg kw kn .. x bha tu .. d ati ak xda siapa .. and i'm thinkin if kta blh lg sma2 mcm dlu .. aisshhh .. 

kau lukakan hati aku bha tahir .. ak x blh trima tu .. kw dgn syasya ??? ak x blh trima suma tu .. 

last kta jmpa , ak dpt rsa ksih syg kw tu bkn utk ak sda ..

kmarin .. ak rndu kw .. ak watch MV .. xtw lagu apa tu .. tba2 t'ingat kw trus rindu kw .. sbb style couple dlm MV tu mcm kta .. cra dea peluk , tarik gf nya tu .. sma mcm kw dgn ak .. huhh .. npa la .. why ??

smalam ak teringat , bln ne birthday kw pulak .. alala .. lupa ak .. sori syg .. 11 MAC .. happy birthday ..

ak buka FB kw td .. ak bca sumanya .. kw declare jg sda skrg kw single .. bgus la tu .. let's be cousin2 only .. :) 

hari khamis lalu ak jmpa adik mu .. ak temankan dea dating ma kwn ku , farah ..

tahir ..

kalau la kau tahu betapa sakitnya hatiku dulu , 

kalau la kau tahu betapa sayu dan pilunya hatiku dulu ,

kalau la juga kau tahu betapa kecewanya aku ..

mungkin kau akan faham ,

kenapa aku buat semua ne ..

kenapa aku berpaling dari kau ,

kenapa aku sengaja undur diri ..
kalau kau tahu semua tu ..
mungkin kau akan faham ..

Quotes from Cinderella's Stepsister

“Don’t talk so sweetly to me. I’m not very smart so it really, really confuses me. If I think about it, from the day you came here, till the day you officially rejected me… while you were scolding me for being childish, telling me not to lean on you… you were exactly as sweet to me as you’ve always been. Even if the world crumbles, the feeling that if I held onto you everything would be okay… you did that. You pushed me off the edge of a cliff, and then you’re being sweet to me again — you can’t do that.” – Hyo-sun


“It hurts when I don’t see him, and when I do. It hurts whether he’s here, or whether he’s not. Hurts whether he smiles at me, or smiles at someone else. Hurts whether he calls my name, or doesn’t. As long as I don’t disappear into the earth, I think I’ll continue to feel hurt, Jung-woo, but still, being here is better. Being able to see him and hate him is better than him not being here.” – Eun-jo


“I like you so much, so what can I do? Even if you get mad at me, scold me, are ashamed of me, don’t think I’m good enough, ignore me, scornfully laugh at me, whether you think I’m an embarrassment and put me down… but I like you so much. What do I do then?” – Hyo-sun 

kasi hilang mood sja !

          hey fuckers ! ahah . kidding ja . jgn trasa . actually , tu ja pkataan yang balik2 dtg d ruang minda ne .

          Actually , xda mood bha sya sjk kblkgn ini. Mls mw bls mesej , mw jwb call . sya maw jawab call dr seseorg ne ja . org laen sya xmw . sya x pduli la . sya mw dea ja . number ne ja . 019******4 ja yg call sya bru sya jwb. sya x mw selaen number ne arh .

          xda msa sya sda mw blogwalking, blogging , maki2 org, umpat org. aehh . xda mood jgk mw buat bgtu . tp sumtym tekeluar jgk makian dr mulut ne . adeh . pkoknya SYA XDA MOOD la bha.

          Tadi kn , bgus2 sda ada mood sya . skalinya ada org call sya , sya pkirkn papa yg call cuz ringtone utk caller ne sma bha . skalinya c bangsat pulak yg call .blm lg sya gnti upanya . adeii . mls pnya psl . jd mw d pndekkn cerita sya cpt2 angkat dgn melihat sekilas sja nma caller d skrin hp . skalinya t’nmpak nma c bangsat tu , bru sda sy answer mode ne hp. adeii . knapala . b’debar2 jgk ati sya . dlm ati ne sda memaki dri sndri cuz x tgk btul2 caller id d skrin hp . huh ! t’jwb sda , sya ckp la .

          “ hello ? “

          “ hello ? “

          “ hello ? “ naik pns sda bdn ne . buduh jgk hello2 trus . mw mkn maki ka kw ?!

          “ sepa ne ? “ menanya c bangsat .

          “ kw sepa ? “ ku tnya kw blik ! huh !

          “ sepa ne ? “ aehh . bodoh !

          “ slh number bha kw ne . “ naehh . ambik kw . trus ku c mati .

          bodoh kn . menelefon ja tp bgtu . tahap apa sua kilik mu tu babun . skalinya bbrapa minit mengsms plk dea . “maen2 ja tdi bha “ aehh . pduli pa aku kw mw maen ka apa ka . bukn urusan ku ! mls sua ak dgn kw! p la kw urus c tua tu !

          bgus2 ak ada mood, ilang blk. kw pkir snang ka mw c dtg itu mood . huh !

come to me ..

something bad had happen . i dunno wat to do .

seems like i'm lost .

need eu by my side now ..

i juz dunno wat to do .